Sound the alarm! (it's time to wake up)

A few weeks ago, I experienced trouble getting a full night's sleep. It wasn't that I was having trouble getting to sleep at night, or even that I was waking up in the middle of the night (although that was sometimes the case - adjusting to dorm life can be difficult at first). Really, the problem was that for several days in a row, I kept waking up incredibly early - hours before my alarm was set to wake me up (at either 7AM or 8:30AM).

I'd wake up in a panic that the sun had risen and my alarm hadn't woken me up. Maybe I had overslept! Maybe I had slept through my alarm (unlikely because I'm a relatively light sleeper). Maybe I had forgotten to set my alarm to the correct time the night before (unlikely because I double or triple checked the time setting the night before).

So, after squinting at the clock and discovering that I had around a good two hours before I needed to wake up, I'd roll back over only to reawaken a short time later in the same worried state - over, and over, and over again.

One might wonder why. I'll be the first to admit that stressors and anxieties in my life were obviously taking a toll and making themselves known through my sleep patterns. However, I can't shake the parallels between my spiritual life and my lack of trust in my alarm clock.

So many times, I fail to trust in God, His provision, and His timing. I know that He is faithful, constant, and true...but when the anxieties and worries of life come and hit me, I almost immediately fall into a flurry of doubt, fear, and worry. Where is the trust?

In a small similar way, I refused to trust my alarm to wake me up in the morning. And really - it's ridiculous. I set my alarm, and then checked it at least twice. The machine won't fail...I've checked for human error...clearly we have a problem if I'm still not relying on my alarm to sound and wake me up in the morning.

And in comparison, how much more ridiculous is my lack of faith and trust in the great One who blessed people with the intelligence to design and create such a thing as an alarm?

I could further draw out an idea using the alarm clock metaphor and talk about God's timing, but I think that the real issue of my heart that I want to focus on right now is my own stupid failure to trust the only one who can ever be fully and continually relied upon.

...interesting how my own fears, failings, and anxieties bring to light both the issues of my heart and the concepts of God's greatness. The wonderful part is that even though I am fickle, distrusting, and fearful, God never gets impatient with me and only continues to prove how worthy He is of my complete trust placed in Him.

And my alarm still wakes me up in the morning.