Thursday, March 8, 2012

Walk with me.

It's an interesting thing - often when people find out that I'm in seminary, they think that I must have it all together. That I have all the answers. That I'm some sort of Super Christian.

But the truth is this: there are days like today when I am caught by a strong nagging doubt in the midst of otherwise enjoying (dare I say "worshipping?) God. The interruption comes something like this - "Is this really what I believe? Is this really the reality that I accept? Is this really the Truth that I believe in? Am I sure that it's not some sort of fairytale that I've bought into? This Jesus...really?" Blindsided by my own doubt, I am left stunned and feeling as if I'm standing on spiritually wobbly legs.

Yet, in those moments of introspection, I answer with a (shaky), "Yes." Because that is what I believe. And the more I self-examine my beliefs, the stronger that "yes" becomes (thank God). There's something to be said for having reason - after all, I am a reasonable creature (and by that I mean I have the ability to reason).  Logically speaking, I can understand how the gospel could sound absolutely crazy - but I have seen and experienced what could easily be called acts of mystery. Acts of the spiritual. I call them acts of God.
It comes to this: my faith is not contingent upon having all the answers. I am learning. I am growing. I stumble, but God extends His hand to me and lifts me back up. I am walking down a path on a spiritual journey through life. So are you.
So, let's journey together.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Some things, I just can't fully explain

It feels muggy today - like a storm is waiting to blow in - with quiet stirrings while the wind blows through the trees and plants. Not all of the plants speak, but the ones that do whisper in shushing sounds as the heat pushes down. Even the light feels filtered and still - like the blue sky is masked in a thin gauze made of clouds.
 And I can't fully explain it, but somehow it all resounds with how my spirit feels today.