"Common sense" tells me to give up. But I have this really stupid annoying thing called a heart and it keeps getting in the way and disrupting my decision making process.
Quite clearly, I have commitments and obligations and those must be honored and kept. Yes, agreed. And to take on those dreams (however so small and insignificant to others) is making my life so much more complicated, stressful, and difficult than I should like it to be. The rational, obvious choice then is to let those dreams go and follow the path that I have set out for me now. I should sit this one out and hope for the ability to dance with my dreams in the future...the far off, unknown "someday."
But if we did not dare to follow our dreams, so many of the wonderful adventures, inventions, and some of the best moments in history would not have come to fruition.
I have the charge set before me that I was not born to play it safe, no matter how much I'd like to do so.
And so, I choose to risk. I am not content to give up so easily...I will fight and try until I have exhausted every resource and the answer is a resounding, "no."
I fall down again and again in the hopes that one day, I will finally learn how to fly. And then...oh my, how I shall soar...
Superchic[k] put it this way, "To fall is not to fail, you fail when you don't try."
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Something of Substance...
On Thursday we drove down to Cal State San Marcos to perform "Life Without Parole." That's right - we are officially and technically on tour now. Neat.
Anyway, I grabbed a Snickers bar for our drive down and noticed a nifty little word and definition in the wrapper:
Substantialiscious \sub-'stan(t)-shu-'ll-shus\
(noun). The weight of something when you weigh it with your tongue.
Alright, aside from the misclassification of the word (it has been brought to my attention lately that the word should be an adjective, not a noun - true), I have a question (or a few) mulling around in my mind.
Who is weighing things with their tongues!?
Going off of that - what, exactly, are they weighing? Why are they weighing things with their tongues? (How did they get the idea to weigh things with their tongues in the first place?) And how are they doing it? (My imagination is running free and wild by this point.)
Of course, all answers I might come up with are only silly conjecture because "substantialiscious" isn't really a word. But at least I can point to a candy bar for something tasty to munch on and for a few moments (okay, maybe more than a few) of entertained musings.
Anyway, I grabbed a Snickers bar for our drive down and noticed a nifty little word and definition in the wrapper:
Substantialiscious \sub-'stan(t)-shu-'ll-shus\
(noun). The weight of something when you weigh it with your tongue.
Alright, aside from the misclassification of the word (it has been brought to my attention lately that the word should be an adjective, not a noun - true), I have a question (or a few) mulling around in my mind.
Who is weighing things with their tongues!?
Going off of that - what, exactly, are they weighing? Why are they weighing things with their tongues? (How did they get the idea to weigh things with their tongues in the first place?) And how are they doing it? (My imagination is running free and wild by this point.)
Of course, all answers I might come up with are only silly conjecture because "substantialiscious" isn't really a word. But at least I can point to a candy bar for something tasty to munch on and for a few moments (okay, maybe more than a few) of entertained musings.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Flowers, Love, and Tangeaunts
I'm currently at my dad's house visiting for the weekend. Festivities are to include a trip to the pumpkin patch at Bates Nut Farm and making pumpkin soup from scratch - both are traditions for me. At any rate, "my room" has been converted into a sort of guest room and it's been interesting looking at the additions to the decor. One such item that has caught my eye is a picture of my half-sister with my step-aunt in a frame that reads, "Aunts are like flowers...they brighten up your day."
Alright. I think it's kinda cute - but mostly super cheesy. And I've been thinking of my own:
"Aunts are like flowers...they all smell good." Ooh - awkward, and not always true. Heh.
"Aunts are like flowers...some are just more colorful than others." hehehehehe
"Aunts are like flowers...the real ones are better than the fake."
(I came up with others, but they were a little strange or didn't necessarily make sense - basically, I don't want to share them.)
The last one got me thinking though...
I remember once reading a bumper sticker thing that read, "He sent her a dozen roses and within them was one fake rose. Attached was a note saying 'I'll love you until the last flower dies.'"
Alright, so my initial response is, "Awww - sweet!" *Gag*
I feel torn because while one side of me thinks about how such a description of love is immature...maybe there's more the idea than initially meets the eye. I have to admit, that there is a certain draw for me in the idea.
In this cynical world and our jaded society, it's difficult to imagine any sort of "love" actually lasting. Fairy tale love doesn't exist...and yet, we wish so much that it did.
How nice to realize that it actually does.
The problem concerning the love story surrounding the roses is that not only is it based in fantasy, it is also an act generally made prematurely. It's something that high school kids do for one another, or sweethearts who haven't been dating for long enough. It goes right along with the version of love sold to us by Hollywood - love isn't about sacrifice, making active decisions that put another person's best interest before our own, or choosing to act in love even when what we feel most like doing is turning around and walking the other way! No, love is about flowers, and hearts, and kissing, and doing what feels good.
Personally, I think the story is more fitting for the couple who's been married 20 years, just had a huge fight, and has their marriage on the rocks. He buys her a bouquet and pledges to remain with her - a renewal of vows.
Not a hormonally scripted line that will ensure a score with the immature teenagers.
But I digress...
The point is that at the root of such a desire for romance is the truth that such love actually does exist. We are wired to respond to the idea of an eternally lasting love. We know that it's real - we just have a hard time discovering where it is or how to go about finding it. How funny that there is a huge book describing this very love that we all seek after - and yet we still miss it. Sometimes (more often than not), I miss it. I'm only human after all.
So, where or what is the source of this mysteriously obvious love?
Well - God of course. How wonderful that a God who claims to be eternal also claims to be love incarnate.
What it comes down to then, is that the God who made the flowers and the pumpkins of the field also created a love so holy and sweet that we would all recognize the desire in our souls for it.
Alright. I think it's kinda cute - but mostly super cheesy. And I've been thinking of my own:
"Aunts are like flowers...they all smell good." Ooh - awkward, and not always true. Heh.
"Aunts are like flowers...some are just more colorful than others." hehehehehe
"Aunts are like flowers...the real ones are better than the fake."
(I came up with others, but they were a little strange or didn't necessarily make sense - basically, I don't want to share them.)
The last one got me thinking though...
I remember once reading a bumper sticker thing that read, "He sent her a dozen roses and within them was one fake rose. Attached was a note saying 'I'll love you until the last flower dies.'"
Alright, so my initial response is, "Awww - sweet!" *Gag*
I feel torn because while one side of me thinks about how such a description of love is immature...maybe there's more the idea than initially meets the eye. I have to admit, that there is a certain draw for me in the idea.
In this cynical world and our jaded society, it's difficult to imagine any sort of "love" actually lasting. Fairy tale love doesn't exist...and yet, we wish so much that it did.
How nice to realize that it actually does.
The problem concerning the love story surrounding the roses is that not only is it based in fantasy, it is also an act generally made prematurely. It's something that high school kids do for one another, or sweethearts who haven't been dating for long enough. It goes right along with the version of love sold to us by Hollywood - love isn't about sacrifice, making active decisions that put another person's best interest before our own, or choosing to act in love even when what we feel most like doing is turning around and walking the other way! No, love is about flowers, and hearts, and kissing, and doing what feels good.
Personally, I think the story is more fitting for the couple who's been married 20 years, just had a huge fight, and has their marriage on the rocks. He buys her a bouquet and pledges to remain with her - a renewal of vows.
Not a hormonally scripted line that will ensure a score with the immature teenagers.
But I digress...
The point is that at the root of such a desire for romance is the truth that such love actually does exist. We are wired to respond to the idea of an eternally lasting love. We know that it's real - we just have a hard time discovering where it is or how to go about finding it. How funny that there is a huge book describing this very love that we all seek after - and yet we still miss it. Sometimes (more often than not), I miss it. I'm only human after all.
So, where or what is the source of this mysteriously obvious love?
Well - God of course. How wonderful that a God who claims to be eternal also claims to be love incarnate.
What it comes down to then, is that the God who made the flowers and the pumpkins of the field also created a love so holy and sweet that we would all recognize the desire in our souls for it.
Sittin' for a spell with God
So, I saw opening night of "Godspell" a couple weeks ago. It's funny how the little things - seemingly normal, simple things - can prepare you for huge things. A musical isn't a big deal. But the thoughts inspired by it can be.
To provide a tiny bit of background: "Godspell" is based off of the book of Mark from the Bible. The first Act of the show is made up of Jesus running around telling parables, and the second Act picks up with the reactions from the religious leaders of the time...leading up to His crucifixion and resurrection. Okay, good - now we're on the same page.
Two songs made a lasting impression on me - not because of musical quality (because I could tell you about those, but it'd be a different conversation) but because of the life impact I ran into with them later.
The first was "All for the Best." Jesus and His disciple make jokes and remind audience members that when they run into trouble in life, that it's "all for best" and that God has a plan. The production of the song was actually a corny sort of humor that produced smiles and chuckles. Not so funny was finding out right after the show that a friend of mine had to fly home because her step-dad had been killed in a freak accident at work.
Wow. In the face of "Why is she having to go through that, God? It's not fair," I'm met with the echos of humor and lyrics that sing of God having a plan..."it's all for the best."
And really - it's true. If I'm going to trust in this God, I have to believe in the assertions that He makes about Himself. One of them being that He cares about us and has our best interest at heart. Sometimes we just lose track of the timing of that interest...it's in an eternal perspective - not temporal.
So bring on the second song - "Oh God, I'm dying." Jesus is on the cross singing, "Oh, God - I'm bleeding...Oh, God, I'm dying..." and then the ensemble responds with, "Oh, God - you're dying." Okay, so aside from some incredibly interesting thoughts that this song inspires about God and His very being...it also elicited a personal connection within me.
I was reminded of how on the cross, Christ cried out, "My God, my God - why have You forsaken me?" And that got me thinking...
Jesus had the best Dad ever. I mean - absolutely perfect. Perfect love, always there for Jesus...none of this manipulative, failure stuff that we have to deal with regarding our fathers on earth.
So, how much more would the rejection of an absolutely perfect Father hurt? I've veen thinking about the rejection I've gotten in life from my own dad (whatever the cause). I think that the rejection Christ experienced must hurt even more. God actively turned His back on Jesus as he hung on the cross - experiencing punishment for things that he didn't even do. In the worst moment of his life, Christ had the pain mulplied by the rejection of God when he needed Him most.
And that brings me back to the relational pain I experience. It makes me realize more that God really DOES understand what I'm going through. So I can be comforted by the fact that He cries with me when I cry. His heart breaks for me and with me when I am shattered.
I understand Christ more - how wonderful that God brings me to a place where He allows me to relate to Him.
To provide a tiny bit of background: "Godspell" is based off of the book of Mark from the Bible. The first Act of the show is made up of Jesus running around telling parables, and the second Act picks up with the reactions from the religious leaders of the time...leading up to His crucifixion and resurrection. Okay, good - now we're on the same page.
Two songs made a lasting impression on me - not because of musical quality (because I could tell you about those, but it'd be a different conversation) but because of the life impact I ran into with them later.
The first was "All for the Best." Jesus and His disciple make jokes and remind audience members that when they run into trouble in life, that it's "all for best" and that God has a plan. The production of the song was actually a corny sort of humor that produced smiles and chuckles. Not so funny was finding out right after the show that a friend of mine had to fly home because her step-dad had been killed in a freak accident at work.
Wow. In the face of "Why is she having to go through that, God? It's not fair," I'm met with the echos of humor and lyrics that sing of God having a plan..."it's all for the best."
And really - it's true. If I'm going to trust in this God, I have to believe in the assertions that He makes about Himself. One of them being that He cares about us and has our best interest at heart. Sometimes we just lose track of the timing of that interest...it's in an eternal perspective - not temporal.
So bring on the second song - "Oh God, I'm dying." Jesus is on the cross singing, "Oh, God - I'm bleeding...Oh, God, I'm dying..." and then the ensemble responds with, "Oh, God - you're dying." Okay, so aside from some incredibly interesting thoughts that this song inspires about God and His very being...it also elicited a personal connection within me.
I was reminded of how on the cross, Christ cried out, "My God, my God - why have You forsaken me?" And that got me thinking...
Jesus had the best Dad ever. I mean - absolutely perfect. Perfect love, always there for Jesus...none of this manipulative, failure stuff that we have to deal with regarding our fathers on earth.
So, how much more would the rejection of an absolutely perfect Father hurt? I've veen thinking about the rejection I've gotten in life from my own dad (whatever the cause). I think that the rejection Christ experienced must hurt even more. God actively turned His back on Jesus as he hung on the cross - experiencing punishment for things that he didn't even do. In the worst moment of his life, Christ had the pain mulplied by the rejection of God when he needed Him most.
And that brings me back to the relational pain I experience. It makes me realize more that God really DOES understand what I'm going through. So I can be comforted by the fact that He cries with me when I cry. His heart breaks for me and with me when I am shattered.
I understand Christ more - how wonderful that God brings me to a place where He allows me to relate to Him.
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